Long Time (sry if it seems I am whining)

Wow, i have not posted on the blog forever. I am going to get back to journalizing my life. Since April a lot has happened. Starting with May and my graduation with my bachelor's degree. As exciting as this time was it was very difficult because my hubby was gone and not able to share in my hard work with me. Then i lost a good friend due to a miscommunication and she didnt want to talk about it so i guess she really wasnt a friend. So while i felt very accomplished, it was a very hard sad day and i cried a lot. This began my downward spiral. Nothing seemed to be going right the last six months. Finally, after a major blow to my life i decided enough is enough. I am not going to let these things take a toll on me any longer. I went through a lot of heartache and self-examination including going to my past and facing some of it and trying to put things behind me. 

Then one day, I was watching a show on MTV about an experiment in high school called if you really knew me. This show hit home because while so many of us are different, we all have some things in common. The show began making me think about what others perceive me as and what they do not know about me. I know the answer and i dont think i want people to see me and for me to hide who i am. In order to feel and be loved one has to be vulnerable and vulnerability can cause hurt and for me its extremely scary. I dont like feeling vulnerable but i have learned that to allow others in my life, i have to be.

Anyway, my life has been difficult and to top things off, david is gone again until jan. But I know I am not really alone. I have God in my life and five wonderful angels who make me get up in the morning and live. Without them, i dont know where I would be. I love being a Mom and looking forward to putting my old life behind me and waking up with a new me. This is not going to be overnight but one day I know I will wake up and realize I am truly happy. Now on to the ghosts and ghouls...really looking forward to having a great Halloween and holiday season.