Mixed Feelings..

This last week I have had many mixed feelings. These feelings are mostly about the holidays. I wish in a way I could just skip them and be to January already. On the other hand because David is gone i want to make the holidays special for them so maybe they wont miss dad so much. I think my feelings have caused a lot of distention in my house and the children can feel my anticipation. I dont know how to change these feelings. I am trying to stay positive and keep myself overly busy so I dont have to think about it but at night when the house is all quiet these feelings and thoughts come to my head. I hope we can work through the holidays and then have dad come home. I am so excited we are down to the final stretch ( maybe I should wait until after the holidays to say that). The one thing I do know is I love my kids and want to make this easy for them, I just dont know how to do it.