Christmas Came Early

Last night was the best night. I had a hard time deciding whether or not to go to the Delta Center Sing-along. For those who arent aware of this, Larry H Miller each year puts on a community sing-along for families where everyone comes out and sings Christmas Carols. This year they decided to include our troops. There was a live broadcast from Kuwait and they were able to see us. It was the best Christmas gift. We were cheering, blowing kisses, and able to wish them Merry Christmas. IT was wonderful. I know we wont forget this experience and hopefully it makes being away a little easier. Its hard to see but if you look close David is on the right side. I was taking the picture from the screen.

Pictures from Kuwait

Finally, David sent me pics. I am posting some of them so you can see how exciting life is there.

Caleb said "I can breath"

Caleb has a cold and due to his health issues when he has a cold he has to be suctioned. I havent done it becuase it requires me holding him down which is a difficult task. Tonight, he really needed to be suctioned so I held him down and of course he cried. After I gave him a hug and he turned to me and said "Mom, I can breath" Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of the small precious things in life such as being able to breath.

Pow Wow

Yesterday I had a wonderful opportunity to watch my daughter become little Simeta (indian name). Her class held a pow wow and I was able to help with it. The afternoon was filled with learning indian songs, dances, games, and stories. These things are the things I hope she remembers and able to build memories for a lifetime.

Imaginative or Deprived...you decide.

I am trying to figure out if my children have a huge imagination or if they are actually deprived of toys. The other day Caleb came to me and said "mom a horse" Yes, the forks are the legs and tail. I think this horse has 7 or 8 legs. Then tonight I got home from SEP conference with Saibrynn and Chasten said, "Mom, rocket" So for Christmas I think I am going to buy the twins their own set of forks and spoons and Styrofoam, since they would rather play with that than their toys.

Colten and Veterans Day

Yesterday, Colten and I were driving down the road and there was a sign about Honoring our 'Vets'(yes you can probably already see where we are heading). I said,"I cant believe your dad is a vet" and Colten said,"he is". I told him "yes, he has gone to war". He looked over in puzzlement and said "you mean dad can operate on Sasha when he gets home". This through me for a loop and then I realized what he was talking about and started laughing. He finally realized his mistake and then started laughing. Its great when we can sit and laugh our heads off while driving down the road.

Hey honey it worked

My hubby emailed me a letter to read to the kids about their behaviors. They have been struggling to mind or not backtalk when told to do something. My house has been in an uproar and my frustrations were coming out. So my hubby took charge(its wonderful to know he can help across the world) and wrote my kids this great email. He brought stuff up in the email I wouldnt of even thought of so tonight for family home evening we read Dad's letter to the kids and after that they did their chores. There has been hardly no yelling and mom is in a good mood. Thanks, Honey appreciate your help.

Mixed Feelings..

This last week I have had many mixed feelings. These feelings are mostly about the holidays. I wish in a way I could just skip them and be to January already. On the other hand because David is gone i want to make the holidays special for them so maybe they wont miss dad so much. I think my feelings have caused a lot of distention in my house and the children can feel my anticipation. I dont know how to change these feelings. I am trying to stay positive and keep myself overly busy so I dont have to think about it but at night when the house is all quiet these feelings and thoughts come to my head. I hope we can work through the holidays and then have dad come home. I am so excited we are down to the final stretch ( maybe I should wait until after the holidays to say that). The one thing I do know is I love my kids and want to make this easy for them, I just dont know how to do it.

Another child with ADHD

Ever since Caleb's accident I have been noticing some behaviors (actually we have been noticing them for awhile but the accident was teh straw that broke the camel's back). I discussed my concerns with the peditrician and he also noticed some behaviors that were just not quite right. He asked me to take him to a therapist to do further testing. Today, we did get a diagnosis of ADHD. This is not my first rodeo with this and I feel that I am going to be able to handle the behaviors and hopefully change them to be more "normal". Our goal at this point, since he is only three is to teach him what is acceptable and what is not (not an easy task). This is our first goal. Then we were change things slowly adding more goals. Just thought the family would like to know.

14 Years and counting

Fourteen years ago today, I promised my life to my husband. Reflecting back to that day if you asked would you be married in 14 years, I would honestly say I dont know but I hope so. I have always been in this marriage for the long haul. If someone would of asked if I would be a military wife I would say "Hell no". Times have changed and 4 and a half years ago, a different man pledged to serve his country, no matter what the cost was. A different woman stood there accepting but not really excited about this road of the military life. Now, in the present, another woman emerges. A person who could not be prouder of her husband. A wife who could not imagine a different life. Sacrafices have to be made and that sacrafice is a difficult one but knowing why I have to give up my husband's company on this day, makes it a little easier ( i did say little). I dont know what the future will hold. Many changes will happen and we will change and continue to evolve. The one thing I do know is I love my husband more now than I did when he took my hand and I swore before God and family to be his wife. I love the example he gives to our children. I love how I am stronger because of him and how he wont let me hide behind him (sometimes I wish he still would let me do that). I dont know how he feels about being apart on this special day, but I know that even though I dont like it, part of my heart is with him and part of his heart is with me and I could not be a prouder wife. So today, I vow to him again that I will not be in bed depressed thinking I wish he was here. But instead I will be holding my children and thinking of how proud we are as a family for the choices he has made. This song Far away is dedicated to him: This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know That I love you I have loved you all along And I miss you Been far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore So far away Been far away for far too long So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go Keep breathing Hold on to me and, never let me go

Good Day

Today was officially a good day. These are pretty rare (or I wish there were more). I finished my class and my last final. My kids were actually listening. Talked to Coltens school counselor and resolved some issues he was having. So now I feel stress-free.... But tomorrow is another day and I am looking forward to another great day.

LOST....

Last night was the first time I actually got lost in a corn maze. We spent two hours in it. Coby and Caleb had the map and led the way. After two hours and tired legs, I took over and according to Coby, "Mom your a genius" We were out in less than 10 min. Those who went to the haunted side was a little jealous since they had to wait an hour for us to come out. It was fun but we also were sad because this is David's thing he does this with the kids. It reminded so much of what we miss. But we have to focus on "TOO PROUD TO BE SAD" motto. Things like this are bitter-sweet. We love you and miss you, LOVE.

HALLOWEEN

Halloween is a big deal at my house. Sometimes I wish it wasnt. Halloween around here lasts at least a week. We have three halloween parties thanks to the military. We do pumpkin Carving, Halloween Cookies (only 9 dozen this year) and school parties plus trunks or treats. But the funniest part of this year's traditions was Chasten carving pumpkins.

Sheesh, By David

SO I leave for a year and the wife posts my letters in a blog.... sheesh.. just kidding... things are great out here.... lots of aircraft work to do so I have been really busy... that is a good thing cause it makes the time go by faster.... only a few more months and I'll be home. That will be wonderfull....

Jazz Clinic

One of the major benefits of being in the military is the opportunities they provide for the kids. My kids have been able to go to military camp, Hollywood Connections @no cost, meeting hall of Fame baseball player Nate Colbert, and NOW THE BEST ONE OF ALL THE JAZZ CLINIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My children had an experience they will never forget. They got to meet and play drills with Jazz players and the assistant coaches. They also received pictures and autographs of the players. The twins loved the Jazz Bear. It was an experience that I am so glad we didnt miss. And The Hightlight of the Evening (at least for the twins):

Caleb, Caleb, Caleb

Today was calm day. We woke up, enjoyed relaxing, no rush. Today was Stake Conference so we planned on staying home. Coby, Saibrynn, Chasten, and Caleb went downstairs to play. Well, they were playing on the bunkbed (which they have a number of times) but luck ran out this time. Caleb leaned over the edge to far and went headfirst into the bottom bar. He screamed and coby ran him upstairs as I was heading down. One look and I knew Caleb had earned his first set of stitches. Colten and I ran him up to the hospital and he earned himself 8 stiches. This is his prize.

PS. Chasten is now saying he has to go to the Drs. I think there is a little jealousy going on.

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Why my husband does what he does

A while back David wrote me an email. This email is what makes me proud to be a soldiers wife. He explains why he became a soldier. I thought I would share this with everyone to understand why he chose this way of life. "I do this for my kids, I do this so that they can know that I am willing to pay whatever price it takes to be sure that another "911" will not happen. So that they will learn the meaning of duty, honor, integrity, courage.... so they can go through life without feeling as though they need to join the military to protect their families. I want them to know that I love them enough to to give them freedom and not to hate others but to pass on the idea of freedom to those that don’t have the option. I want my kids to look at me and say "there is my Dad. He will do anything for me" This is my soldier's deepest thoughts and I feel it is important enough to share with others.

Snow

I woke up this morning to Chasten running into my room yelling, "Mom snowman, snowman." and then ran out of the room. At first I was really confused about what he was talking about but his excitment was contagious. As I was getting dressed, i heard chasten, caleb, and saibrynn laughing and laughing. I came out and saw them standing by the back window just laughing. I looked out and this is what I saw.

Pride

I am a very stubborn person. I hate to ask for help. I guess this is my pride. Two days ago, it started getting cold, I turned on my furnace and realized it was blowing cold air. Oh well i thought I could lite a pilot, no biggy. So I ignored it until last night when it started to get cold. Colten, Coby, and I went downstairs and tried to light the stupid thing. It wouldn't light. We spent an hour before i got mad and gave up. I knew what I was doing was correct but I couldn't figure out why it wasn't lighting. Last night, I ended up with four kids in my bed because it was so cold. All day today I tried and tried to light it with no luck. The kids came home complaining the house was cold (it was only 55 degrees in here I don't know why they were complaining, lol). They kept saying I needed to call someone. I kept saying I will figure it out (see that stubborn thing coming out). Finally, my coby picked up the phone and called my old home teacher and he and his wife came right over. He lit it two seconds flat. I asked him how he did it and he showed me, I was lighting it in the wrong spot. I was lighting it above the pilot. As he was leaving he turned and said is your swamp cooler drained? I probably looked shocked and said, what? I was suppose to drain it. He gave me the look and got everything taken care of for me. I asked him what would of happened if it didnt get taken care of and he explained that if it would of froze my pipe would of burst etc. While he was on top of my roof covering and taking care of my cooler, his wife had a talk with me. This may be one of the most important things anyone has said to me. She said, she was like me while her husband was away ( he wasn't in the military but worked as a civilian contractor overseas). She would try and try to do everything by herself and it would wear her out. She also said that asking for help doesn't make you weak. I realized she hit the nail on the head. I don't want people to see me as weak but not asking for help has become my weakness. Tonight, i learned it was okay to ask for help. It will be hard not to let my stubbornness take over but I can slowly learn that pride is my downfall and I need to let others help because that is their way of getting blessings that otherwise they wouldn't get. This family is my lifesaver in more ways than I can express. I hope every army spouse out there learns from my experience. Don't hesitate to ask for help when you truly need it because you are not only blessing your life but the lives of others.

Whose Taller-By Colten

We need everyone's opinion. My mom and I are having an arguement. Who is taller my mom or me? Let us know, maybe my mom will stop denying the truth.

New Sister

Saibrynn has been bugging and bugging for a baby sister. She got sick of hearing, sry hun we are not having anymore so she decided to recruit a new sister. Here are pics of her new sister, Can you figure out who it is?

BTW: David I am sorry, I know you dont find this funny but I couldnt help myself from posting these.

Journal

I am using this blog as a family journal. At times you will read things from the kids about the deployment and hopefully from David. Everyday I will make an entry and hopefully I wont sound like I am complaining all the time. This is going to be used to stay connected to my soldier and for others who are going through the same thing and feelings to know they are not alone. October 8, 2008 Last night I sat in bed thinking about this deployment and tried to figure out the best word to fit the circumstances. The best word I found was Proud. I am proud to be a wife and mother. Proud of my independence and proud of what I have evolved and MOST of all Proud to have a husband who is a good example to my children and teach them somethings are worth the sacrifice. Deployments are not easy but opens my eyes to how much David means to me. I will admit I took him for granted. I didn't realize how much he did for me, physically and emotionally. He would take care of the yard and all the heavy stuff around here and emotionally he was there when the bad days came. Yes, I will admit he was the one who usually got the brunt of my bad days and he would take it. As a family, we have grown so much. My kids now feel they can handle things they didn't have to (when dad gets home, they will probably not want to continue, Sry hun). I learned that no matter the crisis, I am strong enough to handle the situation. So far I have handled being broke, broken windows,Death of a dog, Training of a pup, sick dog, Hurt dog, Sick kids, Homework, yard work (redoing the yard so I can do it the way I want), becoming outgoing due to the FRG, broken cars, changing tire, etc. No matter what has been thrown in the path, my children and I are stronger and we know the Lord will not put anything before us we can not handle. The Lord has put us to the test but the blessings he has also given us are unbelievable. Blessings such as knowledge, Caleb not being in the hospital (1 year and counting), empowerment, etc. These blessings we would of probably took for granted if David was here. So Today my goal is not to take so much for granted. My life is crazy and this deployment is even crazier but we are living and surviving one day at a time. Things are going to get hard during the holidays but I know with the support of my family and having my kids with me, we will make it through with flying colors. Then when David comes home he will know that he was missed and how much we need him in our home. Deployments are great for realizing what we have. (Okay book is done for today).

Roberts

My Favorite Music Video (right now at least)

I saw this video at the National Guard Conference, now I am addicted and decided to share it with everyone.

Roberts Family

All Better

Okay so this morning I wanted to quit but now i am all better. The reason why I feel much more able to do this is because I got to talk to my best friend. He can always make things seem okay and that I can survive. So here we are able to keep going (at least more day). Maybe it was good thing that I couldnt find out who to turn my resignation into. The funny thing happened this afternoon. My little Caleb decided that he didnt want to come home in the truck. So as we were walking out to the truck afterschool he took my keys and ran off down the sidewalk. I think he made it all the way to the stop sign (100 feet) when he realized that he couldnt cross the street without mom. So he ran back and gave me the keys.

I quit

Today, I decided I quit. I quit being a mom. I love my kids and my family but after months and months of hearing MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, i quit. I just wish there was a way to do it. If anyone has figured it out let me know.